Flaming Messiah
(page 7)
We finally found two uneaten slices of cake. Now we had to find a way to eat them. As I said, it was crowded. In fact, it was so crowded that there wasn't enough room to lift the fork from your plate to your mouth. We had to hold the plates close to our faces, and then with our elbows pressed to your sides, sort of slide the cake in with our forks.
It was uncomfortable, and what made it worse was the smell on my hands. Every time I slid some cake into my mouth, I tasted a fine confection along with the smell of burnt human hair on my fingertips.
Finally, it was more than I could stand. I had to cry uncle. I excused myself so I could go to the men’s room to wash that awful stink off my fingers. I struggled toward the beaded curtain. Eventually I made it into the restaurant and saw the door that said, "MEN." I opened it... then I saw Him.
He wasn't in that tasteful halogen glow of the restaurant, or even the dim, mysterious candlelight, but rather, he was in a wash of eerie florescent light. I thought I was in a Stanley Kubrick film. He stood in front of the nozzle of the hot air hand dryer, drying His hair after having washed, then rinsed off the burnt ends. If he'd been a beautiful woman it would have been quite a remarkable sight. Her wet hair would have been blowing across her face and her clothes would have been seductively wet. But instead, he looked like a rat in a rainstorm and his glasses were all spotted with soapy water.
I said, "You OK?" and he answered, "Yeah."
I made my way to the sink and lathered my hands 2 or 3 times to get the smell off when he asked me, "Are you the guy who put me out?"
I said, "Yeah."
"I thank you," he said with sincerety.
He seemed even smaller than before standing in the florescent light, even shorter than Chuck Norris. "Don't worry about it, man," I said. "Take it easy." Then I left.
I walked through the beaded curtains again to find Deborah. She was where I'd left her. We put our plates down, shuffled out through the beaded curtains one last time, and pulled our collars up to our ears. It was cold outside as I opened the door to the street. The air smelled good.
(The End)