Flaming Messiah
(page 5)
But the point is: Why would Jesus decide to show up here at a cocktail party for an NPR affiliate station? And why the disguise with the glasses and all? Why not show just up at the Vatican? "But really now," I thought... "Where would be the right place for Jesus to reappear?" The UN? At the Superbowl? On the Trinity Broadcast Network? On Pat Robertson's TV show? If he did that, it'd be to kick Pat Robertson's ass, I bet. It didn't matter, I suppose. This party was just as appropriate a venue as any other... compared to, say... a wet t-shirt, tequila chugging contest in Cabo San Lucas.
But who really knows what he looked like... the Messiah, I mean? My mother, bless her heart, thinks she knows what he looks like. It's because she's seen all the pictures. As a matter of fact, she once said something interesting after she saw a news story on TV about the DaVinci Code. She said, "Ken you believe? Dey say he vas married ! Stoopid people ! Never vunce in picture are you seeing him kissing some vun ! " I suppose she was right. Judas did kiss him though, I think.
His halo was ever-changing as I recount my thoughts in slow motion. There were sparks that danced on the back of his head while people casually chatted around him. They were unaware that a phenomenon was unfolding before them. They simply continued to nibble on the last of their stuffed mushrooms on their paper plates. Their cheeks bulged like squirrels. Their lips puckered as they sucked wine out of plastic glasses. But before them, a tiny incendiary event portended a potentially much bigger one, yet they stood oblivious to what was surely a once in a lifetime occurrence.
The fireworks show continued to grow toward its climax when one black-glasses fellow casually leaned over and said to Mr. Christ, "Hey man, your hair's on fire."
Jesus serenely turned toward the speaker, revealing to the rest of us that, in fact, his hair had burst, or rather, erupted into flame. It had caught on fire while he was leaning against the wall of novena candles. Another guest commented. "Dude," he said.
I had many thoughts as I loomed and watched. I may have even been the only person, at the time, who had any on the subject thoughts at all, I suspect, because no one else was doing anything. They just looked at him wondering why he decided to burn his hair at the pary that night.
I was in a heightened state of awareness... very much like a commando. I visualized several scenarios all in a split second. One was, "What if this happened in the middle of the room and not near the door?" The results would have been catastrophic. No one would have been able to move. No one would have been able to escape. The fire would surely have spread to curtains, clothing, more hair. It would have been yet another tragic night club fire on the news with people piled on top of people, dead, as they made pathetic attempts to escape.
read more