Cyber Televangelist: "Robot Prostitution Not Immoral."

March 9, 2006: As times change, so does technology. But with technology, one must wonder if ancient teachings still hold their meaningfulness in modern times.

When an ethical discussion centering on the the 10 Commandments was brought up at a recent mens' prayer group in California, led by Cyber Televangelist Rod Newcome, it appeared that attendees had many unanswered questions. "What about the sex part?" I heard one man ask.

"The 7th Commandment says "Thou shall not commit adultery," and the 10th says: "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his cattle, or anything that is your neighbor's." The attendee then asked. "Now what if the woman is a robot, like in a movie. I can see not coveting another man's robot, 'cause that's wrong. But what if the robot was a prostitute? Then I wouldn't be coveting it because I'd be paying for it. But is that still adultery, 'cause I'm married?

"Examples of "hottie" robots were given, such as Angelina Jolie in Cyborg 2, Winona Ryder in Alien: Resurrection, Darryl Hannah and Sean Young in Blade Runner and Elizabeth Hurley in Austin Powers 2, and especially, Maria the Robot from the 1929 Sci-Fi film Metropolis.

Newcome, known for his native wisdom and peculiar ability to communicate with God, thought for a moment. He took a sip of beer and then sat quietly while the attendees waited raptly for his answer. One could sense a kind of quiet, contemplative activity beneath Newcome's closed eyelids. Often times, when he was on the verge of a revelation, Newcome's eyelids would part ever so slightly, showing nothing but the whites. The whites of his eyes were now showing. He took a deep breath, then let out a long, luxurious, breathy but semi-audible belch, as was his habit before revealing a revelation.

"No, it's cool." he said, taking another sip of beer.

I watched as the attendees looked to each other, giving restrained acknowledgement, their tightened fists clenched in sports-like victory cheers.

"Does it matter if the robot is a virgin?" another attendee asked as his friends glowed knowingly, elbowing each other in the ribs.

"I doubt it." answered Newcome.