Rob Williams performs the function of hitting things with sticks and making rhythmic, staccatto noises during services. His official title is Drummer.

He is the father of four children, many of whom have red hair. Rob doesn't have red hair, so we don't really think they're his kids. His wife, Cathy, doesn't think they're hers either.

A graduate of Cal State Long Beach, his latest achievement has been his elevation to rank of "Principal" in the California elementary school system. He has asked us all to refer to him as Mr. Williams from now on.

He has a natural gift when dealing with children. When I asked him what his secret was, he told me, "I don't take no sh*t from nobody. You got a problem with that?"

My answer was no.